I’m about to tell you the truest truth about dating that you must follow or risk getting severely emotionally battered and bruised. It’s such a simple rule that seems so logical and intuitive and yet, so many women fail to heed it and suffer the consequences. So, are you ready? Here it is: If a guy says he’s unavailable, believe him. What could be simpler than that?

Let’s play this out. The guy who you have set your sights on as your knight in shining armor and the father of your children has just informed you that he is really not ready or interested in being part of a relationship (with you, or anyone). What do you do? Do you try to prove him wrong, smother him with love and affection, and make him realize just how wonderful you are and how he will never meet anyone who even comes close to your beauty, personality, and intelligence? NO, WRONG!! You do NOT do that! What you do is pat him on the head, wipe his mouth with a napkin and, with the biggest smile you can muster, wish him well on his journey. Then run as fast as you can and find a guy who is ready to be in a relationship with you.

But, alas, you are smarter than I. You think that you have the magical, supernatural power to make this guy into a believer. So you dig in your heels, pull out every tool in your Femme seduction kit, and get to work. Months, maybe years, later you’ve had enough. You’re ready to settle down and want an answer, now. So you give him the ultimatum, and guess what…he says he’s just not ready for a relationship. Surprise! You’re a year older (or more), alone, and so emotionally messed up that you need a few more months just to be able to eat normally again, let alone open yourself up to another potential relationship. What a waste.

Here’s the rule one more time: If a guy says he’s unavailable, believe him. I’m happy to report that I recently heard of two instances (from the women involved) where the guys told their respective gals, after a few dates, that they were really not ready for a relationship, and the gals said, “have a nice life” and fled. Hurray! They followed the rule and have since moved on to healthier and happier situations.
You can and should…MUST…do the same. Trust your man. If he says he’s unavailable, you should take him at his word. AND RUN!!!

A recent article in the NYTimes entitled No Scrolling Required at New Dating Sites referred to the dozens of new dating initiatives based on good old fashioned one on one, in person, mate seeking and meeting. The article pointed out that, “After all, while the Web does broaden the dating pool, it has also disappointed…” Does this new wave of retro-dating initiatives portend the coming downfall of the internet dating sites millions of singles have grown to love and hate? And if so, would that be a positive outcome?

I’ve written many times that the right online dating site can be an effective tool in a soulmate search if used properly. But I think it’s also safe to say that online dating isn’t right for everyone. In fact, the success rate in percentage terms is tiny. So why are tens of millions of singles paying between $10 and $40 a month for the privilege of regularly facing rejection, frustration, and disappointment? For the same reason that people spend billions on lottery tickets: the chance of a dream come true. Ok, maybe going to a casino to win your mortgage payment is a better analogy. With the right knowledge of the games and betting discipline you can increase your odds of success. Same’s true of online dating. With the right profile photos and email banter, you can increase your odds of success, but the odds are still stacked against you.

So am I telling you to retire your online profiles and close your dating site accounts? Look, if the money is totally unimportant to you and you enjoy scrolling through the same old profiles daily, then by all means roll the dice and go for it. You might be one of the lucky ones to have your story featured on the homepage of one of those sites. As the wise man once said, even a broken clock is right twice a day.

But if you are one of the disappointed and frustrated who can’t stop complaining about how much you hate online dating, then I have a word of advice for you: quit. Instead of spending your money on something that isn’t working for you, you can use it to help you find your mate in other ways.
Here are some suggestions:

1. Go to one or two good, quality, high-end events where you believe you have a good chance of meeting the kind of person you are looking for. True, these quality events usually cost a lot more than your average loser singles event, but you get what you pay for. Take the 300 – 500 bucks you spend on online sites and go to an upscale charity event or ski trip. The price tag itself will usually pretty effectively screen out the losers and shlimazels, so you can focus on meeting the “right ones”. Make sure you do your due diligence and research to find the right events for you.

2. Join a gym. If you live in Manhattan a gym membership will probably be a lot more than your online dating spending, but if you don’t go to the gym regularly already, you must start NOW. Besides the obvious health benefits, both physical and mental, you will improve your appearance. The better you look, the better your chances of finding a mate, period.

3. See an image consultant who can help you improve your appearance with advice about clothing, nutrition, diet, and exercise. You might just need one or two sessions, and they’ll be well worth the money spent. I obviously recommend Danielle Devorah Pashko.

4. Become a member of a cool social networking group based on your interests that hosts parties and events. Your chances of meeting someone you can connect with will be exponentially higher than throwing darts at your favorite online dating search results.

4. Go on a singles trip or getaway. Yeah, this is basically the same as #1, but it’s worth focusing on again. These things are usually expensive, but with the money you save from your online dating abstention, you’ll be able to spring for it, at least once. The chances of connecting with someone on a trip are way up there. In fact, it might be the best chance you’ll ever have. If you’re truly open to meeting someone, sharing a week on a boat, beach, trek, canoe, or resort hotel is just the right medicine to cure your single hood. It’s got romance written all over it!! No, there are no guarantees, but if you go with an open mind and heart, you will have the time of your life.

So, no, you don’t have to continue spending your hard earned money on dating sites that aren’t working for you. You can find your mate by working hard and working smart. But if you aren’t ready to leave the online dating world behind, I’ve got 2 suggestions:

1. Facebook – I know it’s not a dating site, but everyone you want to meet is on it, and you can connect through mutual friends (which is a lot more natural).

2. Free dating sites – you can do your own homework to find them.

During the holiday of Passover, as Jews we are commanded to avoid eating chametz and switch to foods made from matzah. If we think about the meaning of eating unleavened bread, it really symbolizes modesty. But in this attempt to overcome temptation and humble ourselves, why do most people overindulge in eating during these 8 days? In a way it seems like the opposite of what we are trying to accomplish spiritually.

After tossing all the cakes, cookies, pastas, cereals, and basically everything with white flour and loaded with sugar, your kitchen will be in pretty good shape. Instead of restocking with new items made from matzah or artificial ingredients, an even healthier idea would be to ditch the starch and fill up your fridge with fruit and vegetables.

Here are some Pesach approved meals that will keep you satisfied as well as a few pounds thinner:

Breakfast
Low-fat yogurt with organic berries and almonds, Low fat cottage cheese with melon and walnuts, or an omelet with spinach and mushrooms

Lunch
Turkey, cucumber, tomato, and avocado sandwich in raw cabbage leaves. (Instead of using bread, the cabbage has a firm consistency and is great for stuffing with food). Another option is grilled chicken salad loaded with a variety of vegetables. If you are craving starch, add ½ of sweet potato or a small serving of butternut squash.

Dinner
Grilled salmon with cauliflower and brussel sprouts drizzled in olive oil, or tilapia with roasted tomato and eggplant.

Dessert
Instead of eating macaroons or chocolate covered matzah, try out a baked apple with crushed walnuts, non fat yogurt with a tbsp of honey, or a serving of berries.

Snacks
Preparation is needed during Passover time when it comes to finding healthy kosher snacks. Some of the easiest snacks to grab at home or on the go are hard boiled eggs, mixed raw nuts, and fresh fruit.

Even though it’s tempting, try not to get sucked into buying every new kosher for Passover product at the supermarket. Rather, take this time to practice some restriction and eat simply. After all, this is the best time to break free from our addictions…

There was an article printed recently in The Jewish Press that triggered lots of comments and discussion, so I’ve decided to take my own position on the issue at hand. You can read the article here. For those who won’t, here’s a brief summary. The author, the mother of a single man in his early twenties, attended an event organized for the purpose of exposing mothers of eligible single young men in the Ultra-Orthodox community to single young women in search of husbands. No, I’m not kidding, this actually happened. The author was appalled at how many of the women showed up without any makeup or fancy clothing or hairdos. She then recommended that young women do whatever it takes to look “pretty”, including getting cosmetic surgery, so that they could attract a shlimazle like her boychick and his spoiled little bratty buddies, many of whom probably need a makeover, a smack in the face, and a serious paatch in tuchehs (if you didn’t get that last reference, ask your bubby or zaide) before being allowed to enter the real world.

There’s so much I can say about this whole sad distortion of a traditional form of matchmaking that has turned into a cruel and superficial quest for beauty, wealth, and status rivaling the best of Real Housewives of Beverly Hill and The Apprentice. But I’ll confine my remarks to the issue of cosmetic surgery.

Should a women or man get cosmetic surgery in order to attract a potential spouse? Obviously, the very thought of someone subjecting themselves to surgery in the hope of attracting someone makes the stomach churn. But the answer isn’t so simple.

I believe that everyone has a right to be happy and that they should do whatever is in their power (within the law and their moral code) to achieve that. If someone is truly unhappy with the way they look, then I believe that they should do what they can to change how they look. Before choosing surgery I think they should get some form of counseling from a trusted mentor or professional, to make them understand that what they perceive as being a physical impediment to love is most probably not that at all.

You see, as important as I believe appearance is in the dating process (as I’ve written so many times), looks are still only part of what makes a successful match. Personality, attitude, and confidence can turn a “4″ into an “8″. I know and have worked with many women who did just that. A long nose or a few extra pounds didn’t prevent them from attracting their mates. Now please don’t get me wrong. These ladies worked on themselves and their appearance to be the best that they could be, and their confidence and positivity overwhelmed an extra inch or 2 in the wrong place.

My wife always tells me that there’s “a cover for every pot” (or something like that), and while I don’t want anyone to use that as an excuse to sit back and not improve themselves, I do believe that it’s true. The right guy will like a girl regardless of the shape or size of her nose, lips, or breasts. I know guys (I am one myself) and I will tell you that not all guys like skinny girls with tiny noses. Some do and some don’t. The right guy for you will like who you are with the features that God created you with.

I think everyone should exercise, watch their weight, wear nice clothing, and groom themselves appropriately. You should make the most of the gifts that God gave you. But to surgically transform those gifts…it just doesn’t feel right in a spiritual or karmic sense.

Nevertheless, I return to my original statement about happiness. If you truly believe that surgically changing your appearance will make you a happier, more positive, and more confident person, then I think it’s your right to do that. If you’re in Florida, you can do it for free. But if you’re doing it just to please, or attract, others then I think you’re making a big mistake. Do the best you can to improve yourself and your appearance, and leave the rest to the Master of the World.

And to the author of that article (and all the Small Miracle books), you should know better. Remember that when you interview potential brides for your little prince. A paatch in tuches for you!

Don’t forget to download your FREE E-Book – The Jcoach Guide to a Winning Online Dating Profile – by subscribing to Jcoach. You can also to follow us on Facebook and Twitter

I’m so tired of hearing the same frustrated complaints over and over: there’s no one out there for me, I can’t meet anyone, nobody is serious, I give up. Let me rephrase that. I’m so tired of hearing the same frustrated complaints from men and women who aren’t making their best effort to change their situation and find the partner they say they so desperately want.

I’ve worked with men and women who invested enormous amounts of time and effort to achieve their relationship objective, and succeeded. It wasn’t easy and didn’t happen right away. In most cases it took at least a year, if not longer, filled with frustration, disappointment, and heartache. But they persevered and continued to work on themselves and make necessary changes based on feedback from advisors and mentors. They did not just wait for “true love” to tap them on the shoulder in Starbucks or approach them across a crowded floor at a black tie charity event. They opened themselves up and made themselves vulnerable by asking for help from anyone who would listen. They remained positive and steadfast in their quest. This post is not directed at them. They already know the points I’m about to make.

For all of you who just became angrier and more frustrated after reading the last paragraph, here are the 3 rules you must follow to find your mate. I’ve used my own story as an example (leaving out specific details to allow you to fill in your own).

1. Evaluate and Modify
Step one is to honestly and thoroughly evaluate your current situation. What kind of person are you looking for? Are your expectations realistic? Is the kind of person you are looking for in your current social circles or geographic location? In other words, are you looking for love in all the right places?

It took me a while to perform my own evaluation. It was a process. I took a long, hard, and brutally honest look at myself and my expectations and I started crossing off my wish list items that I accepted either were not realistic for me or not relevant to a happy marriage. Now, take a moment or more to think about what I’m saying and how it applies to your own situation. Are you an apple hoping to attract oranges? Don’t you know that apples and oranges don’t match?

What I realized was that the type of woman I felt that I needed to be happy probably did not live in my geographic location (NYC). Sure, there probably were some in such a huge population, but the odds were not in my favor. Probability and statistics were working against me. I then identified the place where I felt that my ideal woman was to be found. You must do the same.

If you’ve done your evaluation and found that everything was perfect as is, you haven’t done it right, so go back and do it again. Firstly, nobody’s perfect. Secondly, there’s a reason why you’re still single, so figure it out and modify.

2. Take Action
After evaluating and modifying, you must take action. It’s not enough to understand what’s not working. You need to take definitive action to implement what you discovered in your evaluation. In my case the first action I took was to move to the geographic location where I felt the odds of meeting my mate were more favorable. But moving isn’t enough. You need to actively seek out the object of your desire. For me that meant searching through the friends of my Facebook friends in my new location to see if there was anyone who caught my interest. Then I followed up with my friends to get more information on each potential to determine if they were “right” for me. Finally I chose one woman and contacted her, using our mutual friend as a reference. We went out on a date. A year later we were married.

3. Remain Focused
Once you’ve made it to the dating/relationship stage, don’t take your eye off of the prize. Remember, your goal is to eventually get married, not to date the person until you realize that he or she isn’t perfect and then break up and move on to someone else. It’s really easy to do that. The hard thing to do is to stay open and flexible, and focus on the good stuff. Don’t look for what’s wrong, look for what’s right. There will always be things that don’t fit into your idealized view of what you thought your mate would be like. Just accept that. If the important stuff is there, keep focused and go for the touchdown. Date for marriage, not perfection.

I’m pretty sure that if my wife and I had met at an earlier time in our lives we would not have seen our relationship through to marriage. We each would have gotten stuck on “stuff” that would have thrown us off the track and caused either of us to bolt. But we were ready and we stayed focused on the important stuff…and made the right choice.

Evaluate, Modify, Take Action, Stay Focused…and find your soulmate.

Don’t forget to download your FREE E-Book – The Jcoach Guide to a Winning Online Dating Profile – by subscribing to Jcoach. You can also to follow us on Facebook and Twitter

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a piece called, “When a Man Decides He wants to Get Married, He Does” that triggered some buzz and stirred some emotions. Woman applauded and men maligned, at least some men. Most agreed with my thesis, that when a man decides he wants to get married, he does. This week I’d like to delve a bit deeper and try to clarify and expand upon some the points I made.

What about the women? If what I postulate is true, shouldn’t it apply equally to the women out there? In other words, shouldn’t a woman have the same power to make marriage happen when she decides she’s ready? The answer is, it depends. I think for many women in their 20′s, my theory stands true. Many, if not most, gals in their roaring 20′s pass up potential marriage partners for the same shallow or unrealistic reasons as their male counterparts. Think about it ladies. Be honest. How many nice guys who were seriously into you did you brush off because they weren’t cool enough, successful enough, handsome enough, blah blah enough, enough enough…enough?

Metro Gals in their 20′s are confident, carefree, and in control, in the spirit of their Sex and the City heroes. They aren’t gonna settle for anything less than being swept off their feet by their own version of Mr. Big. Nice guys who’ll probably make great husbands don’t stand a chance. I see this happening all the time, but since I can’t get personal, here’s a story that you might have seen on TV.

There’s a new matchmaker program on Bravo called Love Broker which features Lori Zaslow, a matchmaker, who tries to help her clients find love. Sound familiar? Anyway, on the first episode Lori sets up her client, a nice Jewish boy David, with a nice Jewish girl Ivy (I know it sounds strange, but I’m pretty sure she’s part of the tribe). David is a jerky, early 40′s, bratty type who wears backwards facing baseball caps and tee shirts and acts really cool. That is, until he comes face to face with Ivy, a 26 yr. old on fire, both physically, intellectually, and personality-wise. She starts grilling David about who he his and what he’s looking for in life and relationships. Suddenly, Mr. Too Cool gets shy and flustered, and reverts to being little Davy boy getting a grilling from mommy. He folds under Ivy’s relentless assault.

After the date David tells Lori the matchmaker that he’s interested in going out again. Ivy tells Lori that she isn’t. Fair enough. I guess we’ll have to wait to see what Lori does next. In her first meeting with Lori, Ivy tells her how hard it is to meet good guys in the city and how, as a result, she hasn’t been dating much in the past year or 2. So she finally gets a date with a decent looking, successful guy, who although coming across a bit weak on their blind date, does seem to be a nice guy if given the chance. But does she give him a chance? Doesn’t seem that way from the episode. Cute, 26 yr. old Ivy is on fire, with no room for second chances. She wants it to be right immediately. Good luck.

You see, the 20 something gals are in full control, until they become 30 somethings. Then things change. Maybe not right away, but by their mid 30′s statistics, biology, sociology, and demographics hit them like a runaway train, changing their lives forevermore. Here’s how it works (there are always exceptions). Men almost always date younger women. It’s primarily a function of societal norms, but it still holds true. That means that the available male dating pool is much smaller for a 35 yr. old woman than it is for a 25 yr. old. In many cases the 35 yr olds are competing with the 25 yr. olds for the same men, and losing. Factor in that many “good” guys in their 30′s and early 40′s are already married, and a significant percentage of the available pool are just not interested in or capable of getting married…the outlook does not look rosy.

So now, let me restate my theory: When a 20 something woman decides she wants to get married, she does. When a 30 something woman decides she wants to get married, not so simple anymore. If she’s really attractive, she probably can do it, but she’ll have to aggressively manage her expectations. Aggressively. An older man in the same postion will probably not have to manage his expectations in any realistic way. Statistics and demographics are simply in his favor. It’s not fair, but it’s true.

For those readers who interpreted my words as implying that one should just “marry anybody”, you couldn’t be more wrong. I don’t think anyone should marry just for the sake of being married if they don’t truly love and care for their spouse to be. I do think that everyone needs to make sure that their expectations are realistic and that they understand what “true love” really is. If you’re angry at what I’m saying, you don’t really understand what I’m saying. Ask your married friends. They’ll explain.

Please share your comments here or on the Jcoach Facebook page.

Don’t forget to download your FREE E-Book – The Jcoach Guide to a Winning Online Dating Profile – by subscribing to Jcoach. You can also to follow us on Facebook and Twitter

The reason why I haven’t posted in almost 2 weeks is because I and my little family moved homes, from Manhattan to Teaneck, NJ. Moving is never fun, and after a week in our new home we’re still in the unpacking and getting settled process. How do I like it here in the burbs? I love it. In fact, I wonder to myself why I didn’t do this years ago? The answer is simple: until a few years ago I was single.

What does my marital status have to do with where I choose to reside? I’ll answer that by describing my first Shabbat in my new neighborhood. The synagogue I went to on Friday night was packed with hundreds of people including loads of kids. All the adults with either parents or grandparents. More of the same on Saturday morning. I met and joined dozens of other parents with young kids in one of the downstairs rooms in the synagogue building used as a playroom. I fit in perfectly.

After services we had lunch with three other couples and their toddlers. There was plenty of nursing, diaper changing, and face wiping. It was great for us, but if I was single…forget about it! I would have rather been strapped to a chinese torture table and forced to watch Millionaire Matchmaker reruns.

There’s no way I would have ever chosen to live in Teaneck, or in any other suburban community populated by family units, while I was single because I would have felt different, odd, out of place…uncomfortable. But if I would have had to live there, I probably would have gotten married a heck of a lot sooner than I did. It just would have been too difficult to remain single.

Now don’t jump all over me and assume that I’m saying that I’d just marry any old gal just to fit in. I wouldn’t, and neither should you. However, I would have been a lot more motivated to give real potentials much more of a chance than I did instead of simply moving on to the next woman as soon as something wasn’t just the way I imagined it should be. I’m not just speaking to the guys. Same goes for the women out there.

As much as you might hate being single and living in a singles’ neighborhood (ie. UWS), you have to admit that there is a certain comfort level within the confines of the single zone. Almost everyone is single, just like you. There’s no diaper talk or nursing mommy’s, just dreams of pillow talk and … (you can complete the analogy yourself). If the party, event, or relationship isn’t going as well as planned, all you need to do is bounce on to the next one. Sure, it’s not all fun and games, and it can get pretty frustrated and depressing, but it’s familiar…and comfortable: in the singles’ zone.

I’m not advocating that you move to suburbia and feel out of place. It’s important to feel good about your environment and be at ease in your hood. But maybe, from time to time, you should place yourself in the married/family zone to see what you’re missing and get the motivation you need to make a relationship work ASAP. You don’t even need to travel to suburbia. There are family unit enclaves hidden away even in the big city, maybe even in your building. Make an effort to find and spend some time with them. Talk to them and find out about the reality of marriage and family life.
Or, you can come to Teaneck.

Don’t forget to download your FREE E-Book – The Jcoach Guide to a Winning Online Dating Profile – by subscribing to Jcoach. You can also to follow us on Facebook and Twitter

Dating is tougher than ever these days. The competition is fierce. To succeed you need to make sure that you always look your best. What’s the one feature that attracts the attention of potential mates right off the bat? A beautiful smile!

So here’s a chance to win a teeth whitening smile makeover, right in NYC. Just click on this link, and enter for your chance to win.

Good luck and remember: A smile is worth a thousand words!

You heard right. I firmly believe this to be a truth: when a man decides that he wants to get married, he does. I see it happen all the time, especially with “older” men in their late 30′s and 40′s who you thought would never do it. And then, suddenly, to the shock of ex-girlfriends who were convinced that these guys had terminal commitment phobia, they do it. As surprising as it may appear, it’s really quite simple to understand.

First, let me give you an example from national TV. I happened to catch a recent episode of The Millionaire Matchmaker, which had a unique twist: one of Patty Stanger’s matches actually worked. Here’s the 30 second recap. A handsom, filthy rich (real estate), really nice, Jewish boy in his 30′s hired Patty to find him his “bashert”. Patty set out to find him a “Jewish girl who looks like a shikse”. When she informed him of her dating rule prohibiting any sex before committing to an exclusive relationship, he readily agreed saying that he was ready to settle down and find the right girl. Patty hooked him up with a pretty jewish girl who I guess she thought looked like a shikse (I’m not sure I even know what that means anymore), he took her on a helicopter ride to Las Vegas, gave her a tour of his million dollar view penthouse (no, there was no hanky panky), was impressed with her close relationship with her mother and grandmother, and then…you better sit down for this…he proposed — marriage! Yes, marriage. This is crazy, right? He doesn’t really even know her, right?

Well, here’s how I see it. He thought she was beautiful and really sweet, and she was close with her family. Three very important things. But the most important thing was that he decided that he wanted to get married and, like I said, when a man decides that he wants to get married, he does. He stops looking for what’s wrong and focuses on what’s right, and what he needs to be happy for the long run, not just for that night. He lets down his guard, dismantles that steel barrier that always prevented him from just letting himself fall in love with a woman even though she might come with no guarantee or return policy, and takes the plunge. By the way, 6 months later the happy couple was living together and planning their upcoming wedding.

Guys, you don’t have to be a millionaire to get married. You do have to be normal, nice, and capable of attempting to earn a living. True, you might not be able to snag the woman who inhabits your fantasies, but you will be able to find a nice, sweet, and kind girl who you find attractive (in the world of reality, not Baywatch). The odds are clearly in your favor. There are women waiting for you to ask. All you need to do is make that decision to stop playing games and living in fantasy land, and settle down and get married.

Ladies, if you’re in a relationship with a man for over 6 months who doesn’t seem ready for marriage, then accept the fact that he probably isn’t and move on and find a man who is. Just remember, when a man decides that he wants to get married, he does.

Don’t forget to download your FREE E-Book – The Jcoach Guide to a Winning Online Dating Profile – by subscribing to Jcoach. You can also to follow us on Facebook and Twitter

Happy Valentine’s Day! Did you forget? I know the ladies didn’t, but the guys…well, what can I say. I admit that I too am guilty of this seemingly capital offense. In fact, the whole concept of giving women flowers and other romantic tokens of affection was something my wife had to teach me (she’s still working on it). Is it because I didn’t care about the woman I was dating at the time, or am currently married too? Not at all. I just didn’t get it.

Maybe it’s because I never saw my dad give my mom flowers or gifts of any kind? I’m sure that was part of it, but it’s no excuse.I should have been perceptive enough to realize that most women gauge their man’s degree of interest by the gifts that he presents her with, especially on a day so endowed with romantic significance (by the retail masterminds of this golden land of opportunity) like Valentine’s day.

Just to back up the point I’m trying to make, here’s a brief email I just received from a woman I work with: “So I’ve been dating this guy 5 months and he didn’t plan anything for valentines day… I can assume he isn’t that into me, right?”

WRONG. Most guys just don’t place the same degree of importance on the day of valentine as women do. They’re just not that into it…even if they are into you. Also, some guys just aren’t good at planning romantic excursions or engineering romantic events (getting drunk doesn’t count). You might just have to make it your business to train this guy in the ways of romantic gestures and valentine’s etiquette, if that’s what you need. But i wouldn’t assume that he “just isn’t that into you” solely on the basis of his Valentine’s Day inactivity.

I wonder how many relationships will be sabotaged, disolved, and destroyed this Valentine’s Day because guy’s just didn’t understand what their women expect, and need, from them? How many women will assume that “he’s just not that into them” and put their relationships on a downward spiraling trajectory?

I hope this post has helped clear things up a bit. Ladies, don’t jump to conclusion. And guys, you still have some time to buy some flowers and plan something romantic. Get to work!s