For nine months, I had been dating a guy that I met in the workplace. He told me from day one that he was looking for a serious relationship. We immediately hit it off (in my eyes) and would see each other on the weekends and stay over each others houses and get together one day during the week.

He also wanted to wait and not have sex so that our relationship would be strong and we would connect on an emotional level first. I thought waiting was wonderful, since I was used to men wanting to have sex by the third date. So we waited and waited. By the fifth month, I was ready to have sex or at least oral sex but he said that he was not ready and wanted to wait a little longer. So we waited. In the meantime, we saw each other all the time and he called twice a day (morning and evening to just talk).

I took him to family events, introduced him to my parents and friends because I thought we were happy together. One thing, though, he didn’t want anyone at work to know about us because he said that could cause problems. I honored his request; however, a couple of months into the relationship, he asked me if it was alright that he tell his good friend John (who is also my boss) about us. I agreed, and my boss was very happy for us.

To fast forward, he decided to plan a 7 day cruise for my November birthday. I did not ask him for this cruise but was excited to go away with him for 7 days. I should also bring up that I did not see him for three weekends before the cruise as he was in one of his “moods.” We still talked on the phone every day, but he said that he was working on getting his basement done with his friend “Vick.” About a week before the cruise, we resumed seeing each other and he seemed really excited about going away. We had a very nice time on the cruise, did not talk about work at all (one of his pet peeves with me was that I talked about work), and got along great (I thought). Still, no sex. When we got back from the cruise, everything was fine, we celebrated thanksgiving with my family, and all was well so I thought. We continued to see each other, talk twice a day, etc. On December 30th, I had to undergo some tests for a health issue that I was having. I called him when I left the doctor’s office and I asked him what was wrong. He had been acting a little distance for the past 4-5 days. He finally said on the phone (the day before new year’s eve) that he couldn’t do this anymore. He neede to go find the “one” and I wasn’t it (he is divorced twice but said the first wife had mental health issued and the second wife was mean). He said he didn’t love me, he didn’t like that I talked about work a lot, he didn’t like that I didn’t give good back rubs, and he didn’t feel “safe” with me and that he could tell me anything. He said he didn’t connect with me and didn’t like some parts of my personality. He returned my house key the next day and that was it. He is gone, but left me dazed, confused, and shocked. In the future, how do I protect myself from investing so much time and emotions in someone that walked away from me in a split second.

thanks,

Tags: breaking up, emotional connection, sex

In: Dating Advice for Women Asked By: blue21209 [2 ]